Regional fiscal distress
In a bold move, President Trump decides to emulate his favorite Russian playbook. Six U.S. states—let’s call them “The Great States of Gold”—are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, while other states scramble for enough cash to keep the lights on. Deficits balloon to a staggering 24 %–35 % of their budgets, prompting economists to wonder whether the Treasury has been replaced by a “Make America Poor Again” committee. Some wonder whether home interest rates will hit 30% like Russia. 30%? That's Trumps healthcare premium spikes for people who have no money.
Banking crisis
Inspired by the Russian bank‑run saga, Trump orders a massive withdrawal of “patriotic dollars” from American banks. Within six months, citizens pull roughly $1 trillion in cash, fearing that the Fed will freeze accounts or raise the “Patriotic Deposit Tax” from 20 % to 22 %. Banks are left with the liquidity of a desert oasis, forcing tellers to hand out complimentary “I’m with Trump” stickers instead of cash. Trump's response: "Free the imprisoned crypto thief from Binance.
Policy pressure
The Kremlin’s recent tricks—higher deposit taxes and lower corporate VAT thresholds—are copied verbatim. Small and medium‑sized businesses suddenly face a “Make Small Business Great Again” surcharge, squeezing profit margins tighter than Trump’s tie knots. The result? A nationwide sigh of relief as entrepreneurs finally get a break from endless regulation—by being forced out of business altogether.
War‑related costs
With several regions now resembling “de‑facto war zones” (thanks to the latest reality‑TV‑style foreign policy), the federal budget is forced to allocate massive sums to defense. Yet the already‑strained state coffers can’t fully fund the recruitment drives, leading to a surge of “Patriotic Volunteers” who join the army purely for the paycheck—much like a reality‑show contestant hoping for a cash prize. Trump lowered qualifications for ICE because the smart ones aren't interested.
Social impact
In the far‑flung corners of the nation—think the “Great Plains of Siberia”—residents enlist en masse, lured by the promise of steady income. Meanwhile, confidence in the economy plummets faster than a tweet that gets deleted. Fuel shortages, runaway inflation, and a lingering sense that the country is stuck in a perpetual “Winter is Coming” episode become the new normal. Trump said: "Screw it," demolished the east wing and picking out bathroom faucets. He's looked at 145 different makes so far at Melania's request.
Greg’s Take: The United States now faces a “perfect storm” of collapsing state budgets, a bank run, and war‑spending—an exact replica of the Russian playbook, only with more fireworks and fewer subtitles. It all started with the Feds live fire over I‑5 resulting in damage to a CHP vehicle.
Trump’s Follow‑Up Act: “EV‑ocalypse” (Electric Vehicles Meet Russian‑Style Economics)
Demand drops
After the tax credit disappears, consumers realize they don’t actually want to pay extra for a car that sounds like a spaceship. Sales slow to a crawl, leaving lots of unsold “Made‑in‑America” GM Hummers (the ones that look like tanks) and Ford Lightning units gathering dust in showrooms—proof that a shiny badge doesn’t guarantee a buyer. Still Tesla posted good last quarter sales but the company still can't make money. Musk says he deserves more pay for building a robot army. Oops, he gave it away. We're building a robot army. I wonder if the robots have to take a loyalty pledge?
Depreciation spikes
Approximately 55 % of EV owners find themselves “underwater,” owing about $8,000 more than their vehicle’s current market value. It’s the automotive equivalent of buying a gold‑plated yacht only to discover it’s made of plastic. Like boats, pretty soon we will see Tesla's abandoned on the street, license plates removed, batteries drained.
Manufacturers’ work‑arounds
In a desperate bid to cling to the vanished subsidy, Ford and GM start front‑loading purchases from dealers before the credit expires—much like a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat just before the curtain falls. The government, however, calls the trick “improper” and bans the sleight of hand, leaving executives scrambling for a new illusion. GM has started manufacturing skate boards and shoes with flashing safety lights. No one has done that before.
Production cuts
Anticipating weaker demand, automakers slash EV projects, pause factory expansions, and trim staff. The supply chain feels the chill, and layoffs ripple through battery factories, charging stations, and the countless interns who were promised “future tech careers.” Making America Great Again now requires far fewer jobs as Musk gears up to produce 180,000 robots. Will robots pay taxes to fund federal operations? Trump doesn’t care—his crypto offering has made him rich again. By now he has settled on gold fixtures and gold toilets for the new ballroom.
Consumer choice returns
With the credit gone, dealers can no longer lean on government carrots to push EVs. The market now has to answer to genuine consumer interest—something akin to letting voters decide the next president without a celebrity endorsement. Spoiler alert: many still prefer gasoline‑guzzling trucks that roar louder than a crowd at a rally. Automobiles contribute to only ~10 % of global CO₂, so Trump argues for more coal, more CO₂, less humidity, and more wildfires for “blue states.”
Closing Thought
In this grand parody, Trump’s admiration for Putin’s “economic genius” results in a spectacular mash‑up of fiscal free‑fall, banking panic, and an EV market that looks as shaky as a reality‑show finale. The moral of the story? Borrowing playbooks from authoritarian regimes might make for great headlines, but it rarely translates into a winning strategy—especially when the headline reads, “Don't Take Away My Boom and Bust, that's how I get rich. China laughs as the rest of the world is buying their cheap EVs that drive and ride like a Bentley.”