Jukebox Patsy
Certificate of Musical Deposit
A Premium Investment in Acoustic Storytelling
📀 Financial Disclaimer 📀
This CD (Compact Disc) offers guaranteed returns in emotional dividends, nostalgic appreciation, and storytelling value. Unlike traditional CDs (Certificates of Deposit), this musical investment compounds in sentimental worth rather than monetary interest. Past performance of heartfelt ballads indicates future satisfaction. Your investment in authentic acoustic artistry is secured by decades of songwriting experience.
Portfolio Composition: 10 diversified tracks across folk, blues, and acoustic genres • Maturity Period: Lifetime of listening pleasure • Risk Level: Low (High probability of emotional connection) • Minimum Investment: One open heart and willing ears
1. Jukebox Patsy
Mary Sue Ulven & Greg Rank
Born on Highway 50 during a road trip to Utah, this touching tribute emerged from an unexpected encounter with Donna, who shared the heartbreaking story of her late husband and a mysterious disappearing Patsy Cline song on their jukebox. Sometimes the most beautiful songs come from the stories we discover in the most unexpected places.
2. Polished Shoes
Greg, Rod and Terry
A collaborative piece that showcases the musical chemistry between Greg and his fellow musicians Rod and Terry, polished to perfection like the shoes in the title.
3. The Hurried Child
Greg and Sunny
A deeply personal exploration of childhood trauma and healing, drawing inspiration from David Elkind's important work about children forced to grow up too quickly. The song captures the struggle of carrying childhood wounds while fighting to move toward the light, offering hope that healing is possible.
4. Blueberry Buddha
Greg Rank
99 BPM • A minor • 3:11
A delightfully cheeky response to Tom Waits' "Chocolate Jesus," this song celebrates finding enlightenment in simple pleasures. Desert enlightenment through blueberries, whipped cream, and the wisdom that sometimes "better than winning the lotto" can be found in a bowl. "Every day I wake up happy, I was born to die" - philosophy served with a smile.
5. Three Dreams in the Desert
Greg Rank with Cliff Hugo
A mystical journey through desert landscapes and dreamscapes, enhanced by the musical collaboration with Cliff Hugo. The vast emptiness of the desert becomes a canvas for profound musical storytelling.
6. Bring Me Back Pictures of Cowboys
Zoe Rank
A romantic Western fantasy about dreaming of "a man that the prairie employs" - tall, good-looking, tan, roping and riding the range. The song captures the timeless appeal of the cowboy mystique and rodeo romance, with dreams of being "his cow girl, the only one in the world."
7. Loan Shark City
Greg Rank
A biting satirical take on predatory lending and consumer debt culture, presented as mock financial industry news. "Everybody wants your pay. Nobody gets away." This track offers sharp social commentary wrapped in the language of investment portfolios and market analysis.
8. Wheat Grass in My Wurlitzer
Spencer Rank
110 BPM • E major • 4:01
An upbeat, playful track featuring Spencer Rank on Korg-N5 using the Wurly patch, with Greg on guitar. Originally from the "Angel in a Blue Dress" collection, this song brings together organic health trends and vintage electric piano sounds in an unexpectedly delightful combination.
9. He Didn't Come Back Alive
Greg Rank
83 BPM • G major • 4:16
A deeply personal song about mental illness from the perspective of a caregiver who made a mistake. Written in 2021, this powerful track addresses mental health struggles with sensitivity and provides resources for those in need. The title track represents the emotional core of the collection.
10. Malibu
Greg Rank
103 BPM • G major • 3:06
A mature reflection on addiction and recovery, sharing thematic resonances with "Less Than Zero" and suburban youth literature. From "white shirts and the crease in our gray pants" to finding redemption in family life, this song offers hope beyond destructive patterns. "No more need to get high" - the possibility of growth and healing.
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🎵 Secure Your Musical Investment Today 🎵
Don't let this limited-edition Certificate of Musical Deposit slip away. Ten original tracks of authentic acoustic artistry, professionally recorded in Home Studio B.
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